Octavio reminds me of my dad. He is often the same way when we go to restaurants. If he's there twice, people know who he is, like Norm on Cheers.
I was just asked to do something that I perceive as nearly impossible for me because I feel underqualified. Perhaps this is an ideal opportunity for God to "work the impossible" in me. ag

I don't know if being introverted is necessarily a deficiency of character... I see you and Octavio as the incredible duo... He is the "bringer" and brings people in, and you get to be the "shepherd" who calms them down, loves on them and asks really good questions. I love that about the two of you.

Angela,

There were many times that God had to give me the assurance that He was leading me into a thing so that I would know that He also meant to equip me for it, no matter how impossible it looked. It is humbling and awe inspiring to see what He could do with a willing, though sometimes very reluctant, heart.

Lori,

 Thank you for your kind words.

 I don't see being introverted as a character flaw (I should clarify that on my entry for the sake of other introverts).  I see now He has a plan and a good purpose for us introverts, even if sometimes it's to take us out of our comfort zones. 

I still grieve at times that I am not more loving, thoughtful, forgiving when wronged, or disciplined as I should be. It's only when I walk closely with Him I that can cease to be my ugly, natural self.

Golly - your exposed journey is awesome!

I think we are so often led to think that if we become different and better at this or that, that God will really use us at that point. But I am reminded that faith is the gaze of a soul - with an acute desire for and upon a saving God.  At that point our faith is experienced in action.... and the action is what GOD ordains it to be.   And, I constantly struggle with this.....

as I say to the Lord: I understand that he is in control, so I continue to surrender for all the reasons he provides.... then, I make myself available - totally - as he prepares me..... BUT there is always the acute awareness of the tension.  And then, I remember that I am called to release at some point - and it is at that point I slip to the other side where I find myself floating in the grace of "or not."  He may not use me - EVER - and I have to be prepared to be used, or not... and that's gotta be okay... knowing that the same God that prepares me and uses me, with his wisdom may determine not to use me. 

Sally,

You put it so perfectly; ultimately, our desire is to do His will, no more, no less. 

Someone once asked me, "Don't you want to do something great for God?". It seemed to me that the greatest thing I could do for God was to walk in his will, whether it lead to greatness or obscurity. God is always using us, as we are yielded to him.  Unfortunately we seem to think the only valid way of being used is in "Ministry". I believe I was most used while I was working in the secular places. I see that work (outside the church) as truly working the "front lines".

.

And by being outside "ministry" the sanctification progression seems natural, organic, and continuous (compared to "ministry" which seems more structural, mechanical,and linked through stages).   My experience outside "ministry" is flooded with affirmed faith.  And both the requirement and desire to develop an acute discernment for God's Spirit is revealed and refined like a hunter learns to wait on his game.  Hunters must learn to silence their bodies, their hearts, their breathing to hear and wait.  That is what I must do for my Lord.

Gosh, God is so cool.

Amen and Amen, Sally

What a well written entry. I have felt that way many times. I guess my problem is that I begin to compare. And I make it seem as if one personality type is "better" than the other. Thank you for your reminder that we were all created with intentionality.

I feel the same way regarding character as well. I want my character to become more solid and I am looking to older women whom I admire to see the journey God took them on. My character will grow as much as I allow it to... so it is something that I have willfully began... character growth and transformation.

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts articulated so well.

Liisa.

Hello Liisa,

Thank you for your kind comment.

As much as we stuggle with these flaws in our character that beset us, I'm grateful that they drive us outside of ourselves and on our knees for help. 

I love hearing from younger people whose heart is after God. Watching God transform young lives is thrilling.